In short: Perimenopause is different for everyone. The NHS says symptoms vary from person to person and can change over time, so one month might bring poor sleep and the next forgotten names. There's no single "right" experience. Listening to your body, being kind to yourself on harder days and speaking to your GP if symptoms affect your life can help you shape this stage on your own terms.
Ask ten women about perimenopause and you'll hear ten different stories.
For one, it's broken sleep. For another, it's forgetting words mid-sentence. For someone else, it's itchy skin they'd never have linked to hormones. And often, it's a mix that changes from one month to the next.
The NHS puts it simply: "Perimenopause and menopause are different for everyone." Symptoms can last several years, and they can change during that time.
So this World Menopause Day (Sunday 18 October), we wanted to talk less about a checklist of symptoms and more about something that helps whatever your experience looks like: listening to your body and being kind to yourself.
A personal note from our team
"As a 48-year-old who is definitely in the perimenopause stage, one of the most interesting things I've learnt is that no one person's symptoms are the same. They change during the month and affect us all differently. Some months I have sleeplessness, period cramps and itchy legs. Others, I can't remember people's names or find myself reaching for words. But I focus on trying to listen to my body and be kind to myself when things feel a bit overwhelming. What I'm trying to do is look at this stage of my life as a new phase that can be positive: a chance to decide how I want this next stage of my life to feel, on my terms." — Sarah, Marketing, Scentered.
What are the symptoms of perimenopause?
Perimenopause is the time leading up to menopause, when hormone levels change. According to the NHS, one of the first signs is usually a change to your periods.
Other common symptoms the NHS lists include difficulty sleeping, mood changes, problems with memory or concentration (often called brain fog), hot flushes, and skin changes, including dry and itchy skin. You might have a few of these, many of them, or ones that aren't on any list at all.
That's exactly why comparing yourself to someone else's experience rarely helps.
Why do perimenopause symptoms change from month to month?
Hormone levels change throughout perimenopause, and the NHS notes that symptoms can change over time. So it's common for one month to feel quite different from the last. A good month doesn't mean it's over, and a hard month doesn't mean it will always be like this.
Many women find it useful to keep a simple note of how they feel each week: sleep, energy, mood, anything new. Over a few months, patterns can appear. It also makes a conversation with your GP much easier.
How to listen to your body
Notice before you judge. On a foggy or tired day, try naming what's going on ("I slept badly", "I'm finding words hard today") rather than criticising yourself for it.
Adjust the day, not just your expectations. Move the demanding task to the morning if that's when you're sharpest. Write things down. Say no to one thing.
Build in small pauses. A short walk, three slow breaths, a cup of tea away from your screen. Small pauses give you a moment to check in with how you're actually feeling.
Protect your evenings. Whatever the month brings, a consistent wind-down (lights low, phone away, the same calming scent at the same time) gives your day a gentle end point.
Being kind to yourself on harder days
Perimenopause often arrives at a busy time of life: work, children, ageing parents, everyone needing something. It's easy to keep pushing through.
Being kind to yourself might look like an earlier night, cancelling a plan, asking for help, or simply telling yourself "this is a hard day, and that's OK".
It's not about being calm all the time. It's about meeting yourself with the same patience you'd give a friend.
A new phase, on your terms
For a long time, menopause was talked about only as an ending. More and more women are choosing to see it differently: as a new phase of life, and a chance to decide what matters and how you want the next chapter to feel.
That doesn't mean ignoring the hard parts. It means keeping room for both.
When should I speak to a GP?
If symptoms are affecting your work, relationships or how you feel day to day, speak to your GP or practice nurse. There are treatments and support available, and you don't have to wait until things feel severe. The NHS menopause pages are a good place to start.
Scentered makes pocket-sized aromatherapy balms, candles and wellbeing gifts, designed to help you stop, inhale and reset wherever you are. Our Be Kind To Yourself Set was made for exactly these small moments of self-kindness.
This year the International Menopause Society's World Menopause Day theme is chronic pain at midlife. If pain is part of your experience, the NHS and your GP are the right places to start.
FAQ
Are perimenopause symptoms the same for everyone?
No. The NHS says "perimenopause and menopause are different for everyone". Symptoms vary from person to person and can change over time.
Why do my perimenopause symptoms change each month?
Hormone levels change throughout perimenopause, and the NHS notes that symptoms can change over time, so one month can feel quite different from the next. Keeping a simple weekly note can help you spot patterns.
What are common perimenopause symptoms?
The NHS lists changes to your periods, difficulty sleeping, mood changes, problems with memory or concentration, hot flushes and skin changes such as dry and itchy skin, among others.
When is World Menopause Day?
World Menopause Day is on 18 October each year.
Can aromatherapy treat perimenopause symptoms?
No. Aromatherapy isn't a treatment for perimenopause or menopause. Some people enjoy using scent as part of a daily self-care routine, alongside medical advice.